Lens caps & Lollipops

cameras and food, daily things, photoshop and everything in between

When life gives you lemons… — September 8, 2015

When life gives you lemons…

When life gives you lemons, go find that bitch and punch her in the face, or drown her in the lemonade you made with them, either way kick that bitch’s ass!

So what is my lemon you ask?  Cancer.  Cancer is my lemon.  It seems to be everywhere, doesn’t matter how healthy or unhealthy you are, or how fit you are, or what you do, or eat, some thing will surely give you cancer.

When my grandmother was diagnosed 3 years ago, it was devastating. She meant the world to me, and I never could have imagined a world without her in it.  But here I am, living each day, always thinking about her and always missing her dearly.

Her photograph hangs on the wall behind my computer so I see her every time I sit here to type.  I miss her.  It was quick, painful and exhausting.  She was gone before any of us were able to really comprehend the situation.  There is still a void that lays in my heart, open and raw that I am not sure will ever heal.

Last year we lost another dear friend to his 3 year battle with cancer.  He was a strong, fit, athletic man, who ate well and loved everyone he met.  His life was just snatched away in an instant, and then there were two.

About a month ago my mother called me with some very upsetting and unexpected news, that my stepfather had some lumps in his side and they were going for a pet scan the next week.  That week came and went, the scan was done and they met with the drs.  It was indeed cancer, but not just in his side but his lung, liver, brain and bones.  It is clear that the cancer has most certainly metastasized.  They have started chemo treatments but the doctors don’t seem very hopeful.

This raw, black void is growing.  It is becoming a deep dark hole of depression and hopelessness.  It is becoming harder and harder to look on the bright side of things.  I hate cancer, I hate it with every ounce of my being.  I feel childish even saying things like that, but its true.  I hate it, I wish it never was, I wish there was a cure.

I could go on for days about all the things I wish, but it would be pointless because they never will be.  This void will just continue to grow and grow as the people I love get sucked down into it.

What I posted about the other day, about being an adult, I don’t like this either.  I don’t like feeling like this, I don’t like knowing the things I know, I don’t like being in this loop.  I want to be a kid again, oblivious to all of this.  I want to stop crying all the time.

Picture TIME!! — September 7, 2015

Picture TIME!!

Well the hubs and I finally got our anniversary photo done, a month late.  We always, ALWAYS take it the day of our anniversary, we are usually dressed pretty reasonably, and look some what acceptable for photos.  Last year we sat outside on the lawn for over an our, with a tripod, a wireless remote and sweat running down … everything.  The dog wanted no part of the photo taking, looking at the camera or being anywhere near it.  You would think that constant lenses in your face since 8 weeks old that he would be used to it, but he hates it little bit more each and every time.

Anyway, after trying to wrangle the dog, and then trying to get him back across the road to the house without anyone getting hit by a car we got it done.  It took a few tries, I forget how other people don’t know how to work my big fancy camera with the 17mm-70mm lens, so its big and heavy. I got it all set up and it was literally point and shoot, but clearly that really wasn’t the case.  But after a few tries she got it, after about 10 photos I looked them over while we were still out there and deemed at least one of them worthy of the frame on our wall.  So without further a-due….4th Anniversary-1

You know your not a kid anymore when… — September 3, 2015

You know your not a kid anymore when…

I’ve been noticing some things lately that are starting to make me really feel like an adult, and I don’t like it!!  I long for the days of “mom pays for everything”, bills.. what are bills?  Car payments, rent, groceries, utilities, insurance… who really wants to deal with all that crap, no one.

You know you are not a kid any more when…

The only mail you get is bills

You plan your  whole life around paydays

Paydays are glorious

Any dinner that you don’t have to make yourself is a good dinner

Grocery shopping is considered “me time”

You are, literally, what you eat, that cheeseburger is going straight to your buns.

Cankles are real

When buying clothing or shoes comfort outweighs style, most of the time.  I’m not saying that I have a drawer full of elastic waistband slacks, but I do love me some yoga pants or athletic capris (the fancy name for spandex pants).

Weekends are no longer for just sitting around playing, there are things that need doing.. and someone needs to do them.

Chores are no longer the punishment, they are the norm.

There are not magical fairies that come in the night to wash and fold your laundry, or vacuums the floors, i wish, I would pay those bitches big time to clean my house.

Periods suck, sorry guys this one is for the ladies.  Bleed for 5-7 days a month for half your life and you would be dams sick of it too. Periods suck, pads suck, tampons suck, hormones suck, headaches suck… generally life just sucks for like a week.  That is 12 weeks a year, we spend 1/6 of the year bleeding.  We also make humans, which is a lot of work.. so the least you could do for your lady is change those diapers.

On the lady subject, boob suck.  They really do.  I’m going to get real here for a minute, so skip this if you don’t want to hear about all the gross things about boobs.  Big boobs suck.  “Epic boob sweat” is a thing, its real, and it sucks!  I work in a kitchen, I hate the neck strap on the aprons but I can’t wear the aprons with the strap folded down because of the epic boob sweat, a big giant sweat spot that spreads from one side to the other right under your boobs.  Lovely right?  That isn’t the worst.  In the summer time when it is super hot and humid for weeks say hello to skin infections, rashes, itching, prescription powders, anti chafing cream.. and a never ending supply of clean dry bras.  On a  less disgusting note if you are bigger than a D cup good luck finding a  bra that 1) isn’t white, black or nude  2) Is remotely attractive  3) doesn’t look like something your grandmother should have burned years ago, and finally 4) that fits.  Good luck.  Of all the people that should be able to buy bras somewhere other than online, and be able to try things on is us DDD+ ladies.  What on earth could an A or B cup need to try anything on, everything fits.  One of my biggest struggles in life has been bras, they are ridiculously over priced and I can only ever find my size online.  That sucks!

There comes a point where you are not “hip” anymore, you are just the sad older lady who is trying way to hard to not be old.

Heels are more likely to break your leg than the shoe.

Orthopedic anything seems like a good idea

Coffee, there must be coffee before anything else, just COFFEE!!

You start getting Sir or Mame…. not ok.  Unless you are at a restaurant with you family and then they ask you if you would like a children’s menu.. I’m 31, this has happened to me three times in the past year.. not cool.  I know I’m short but seriously?!

Kids have no idea what the 80’s were really like, no that is not the era with poodle skirts or swing dancing.  That is the era of Cindy Lauper, leg warmers, jazzercise, epic hair bands, the dawn of video games, Atari – can you even imagine giving a 14 year old an Atari, a joystick and ONE button, that is all you get!!

Everything starts to hurt, at one point or another, for absolutely no reason at all.

IBS is real, that is all.

Your on a first name basis with most of the doctors and nurses at your local Primary care office, or considered a “regular”.

You go to the doctors more than the bar.

Getting “shitfaced” is no longer in your rolodex for weekend activities.

Wine is more appealing that Schnapps of any kind.

Your actually trying to get pregnant, instead of avoiding it like it is the Black Plague.

The idea of a crying baby, sleepless nights, breastfeeding, diaper changing and 18 years of no sleep actually sounds like a good idea.

You feel the need to offer parenting advice… but know enough not to.

Metamucil, tums and pepto are normal grocery items.

You walk into a room, forget what you went in there for, then forget what you were doing before you went to do whatever you forgot in the first place.

If you don’t write it down, it never happened, its not real, it doesn’t exist, it is not going to happen, and you have forgotten all about it

All the things your parents used to say or tell you makes so much sense now.

You start saying the things your parents said to you when you were a kid, and now you sound just like them

When you have to ask a 14 year old about some tech thing you don’t understand

When it is easier to ask a kid to do something than actually do it yourself, that is also a short person problem.

An all nighter is staying up until 11… wait thats not right.. an all nighter is something that no longer exists in your life.  With the exception of kids, if you have kids you never get sleep anyway so pulling an all nighter is literally every night, it sort of just cancels itself out

Music, uhh, music is huge.  Kanye is NOT a musician, I know it is all subjective but what is music really?  There is a range of tone and blah blah blah, I’m sorry talking into an auto-tuner does not a musician make.  Bieber is a little asshole that needs an attitude check, Nikki – put some clothes on and stop shaking your enormous everything in my face – my anaconda don’t want none.  I enjoy most pop music today, but there really isn’t anything that comes close to CCR, Floyd, any classic rock really.. back when music consisted of instruments and not a sound board, and singing and actual talent.  But to each their own.

Well this is pretty good start to all the thing that make me feel like an adult, I’m sure there will be more to come…

The many joys of a new car… — September 1, 2015

The many joys of a new car…

Oh the joys of purchasing a new car.  I would like to say however that the sales team at the Nissan dealership we use are very VERY nice people, not pushy and not your typical care salesmen.  They don’t try to sell you shit you don’t need, or shit that is clearly never going to be of any use at all.  They are just nice people there that work hard to get you a car for the price you can afford.

  That being said, yesterday we went to see what they had for Rogues, we have been looking at them since before we leased the care we have at this moment.  I don’t know why we ended up going with a sedan instead but we did. Silly mistake.  Don’t get  be wrong, this car has served us well, it is a good size for everything we need it to be, it is just very low to the ground, and lower to the ground means harder to get my pedal in when I need to drive.

The pedal slides into two slots and then a pin drops to lock it into place, to do all this you must literally get under the dash between the seat and the steering wheel and one handedly get this to all magically match up.  Easier said that done right? Well it doesn’t really sound easy at all, in fact many -10 degree mornings this past winter I was out in the ice and snow and my knees trying to get the frozen pin to drop so I could drive myself to work.  Very frustrating, and even more so because I all but frost bit my knees on the ice.  No fun.

So you can see that this pedal, while essential to my independence, can be a huge pain in the ass.  So we are getting the rogue, it is higher and I hopefully won’t be spending any cold winter mornings on my knee trying to just get the car to work so I can get to my job.  Lets all hope that for a moment…. Ok, done.

So while installing the pedal may seem simple to me, and anyone else that has never had to actually install said pedal, it is becoming a huge pain in my ass.  There are two places in Vermont/New Hampshire that install said devices.  (it is a liability thing, you need to have a certified technician install these things just in case there were ever an accident you would know ti wasn’t due to faulty mechanics on the device).  My entire family works for one school or another in the area, we run on school schedule, my calendar is the school calendar, we vacation when the kids vacation. Weekends are sacred to us, that is family time, that is get all the shit you need to get done on the weekend, time.

I get my days all figured out, see when my husband can take a day and drive me over to get that done only to find out they don’t do installations on the weekends.  Can’t you make an acception?  of course not.  So I made the appointment, called my husband, he is already booked that day and I didn’t see it on the calendar.  So i called back, rebooked for the other location, called my husband, that one is too far away he doesn’t want to use that one… ok, I’m sure he said that more than once but my brain tucked that helpful piece of information way far in the back.  So I called and left a message on the voice mail, and the guy calls me back while we are on our way to pick up the new car, we finally manage to get a date, a time and a location that works before my phone lost service, because yes there are still places that don’t get cell service.  I’m not really sure why my husband ever lets me schedule things, I always end up having to call them back when he gets home,  clearly I am not capable of properly scheduling events.  He always insists I do it when he is at work, you know, during the day when other people are at work.  Anyway, that isn’t the point here.

When I eventually get to talk to the right person at Ride Away to find out what I need to do and how much it will be I think I almost lost my jaw it dropped so hard.  I have a pedal along with the plate it snaps into and all the other hardware, but it is getting old, still in perfect working condition but they won’t reinstall equip older than 10yrs, I’ve got a few left.  Curious I asked how much it would be for a new pedal, $995, what in holy hell, are you serious?  that is just the part, not the $110/hr labor fee.  So I think we will be using the old one for now, and look into replacing it down the line when it is necessary.maxresdefault The installation itself takes about 4-5 hours, so that is 4-5 hours sitting in the waiting room, which is no different than any other garage/service center waiting room, boring.

I was hoping that we would be close enough to go spend some of the day with our cousin but she would have to drive an hour out of her way to get us and then the hour back, its just silly.  What a pain in the ass this is.

Its annoying because it means that I will NEVER be able to test drive a car before I buy it, that is super annoying.  Hearing everyone say how great it is, how smooth the drive is, how much power it has, yup, yup, yup, got it.  That is the hardest part for me, I can’t even test the pedals because they won’t be in the same place when the pedal is in.  Just one more way my two “good” feet screw me again.

Now it is a waiting game, I have to wait about a month before I can even drive our car,  torture.  It is going to be a long month of everyone else driving me around. Oh well.  I guess that is life, its my life, you would think that I would be used to it by now, but I’m not.  Well here is to hoping that I won’t be out on my hands and knees in the dead of winter fighting with this darn thing…